Friday, November 03, 2006

Five things I did not expect to see at the grocery store last night

Item #1 actually made me say "What the hell?" out loud right there in the canned vegetables aisle. From there, I realized this week's list was in the works.

  1. A fried chicken leg, gnawed down to the bone, inappropriately abandoned atop a can of Bush's baked beans. Yes. Seriously. I can't make this shit up. (Or, I could, but I assure you I did not. Barbarians, I tell you. Ghetto Rainbow is full of barbarians.)

  2. Blue frosted Pop-Tarts decked with tiny white stars and filled with red and white striped frosting. On first glance, I thought the Republican Party had gone entirely over the edge with its aim to instill blind patriotism into our nation's youth and was now trying to brainwash them through breakfast foods. Then I looked closer and realized it was an American Idol tie-in. Frankly, I'm not sure now which is more disturbing. Incidentally, that post I linked to was the only evidence of these freakish Not-Tarts I could find online, and considering it was apparently posted over a year ago about what is supposedly a limited edition product, I do have to wonder just how long those flag-tarts have been on the shelf. Ew.

  3. Ginseng-up soda ("a Caribbean favorite!"). I have no idea what carbonated, liquid ginseng might taste like, but I do wonder if 7-up has any qualms about the name.

  4. A wide selection of candles in glass jars featuring images of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and various saints. In case you're wondering, this wasn't in any sort of Christmas display. It was in the ethnic foods aisle. Specifically, on the shelf above the taco seasoning. I mean, of course, right?? Where else would you sell such a thing?

  5. A young, bald cashier who could have maybe passed for a shorter, less attractive, stubbier-armed Michael Rosenbaum. (Or at least, he could have passed for him if that celebrity look-alike thingy were in charge. And we all know how accurate that is, don't we now.)

11 comments:

3carnations said...

1. Ew. Although, chicken goes well with baked beans. Maybe they just forgot a can opener to complete their grocery store consumed meal.

4. Ethnic food aisle, really? Over the taco seasoning? Hmmm....I can't make a comment about that that wouldn't just come out wrong. I guess I'll leave it at there's no bad place to find Jesus.

Simone said...

Isn't it obvious why those candles are in the Ethnic Food section??

lizgwiz said...

I've often seen those candles in the ethnic foods aisle. I guess you just can't make a good mole without the help of Jesus or the Virgin.

-R- said...

There was a grocery store where I went to college that we called the Ghetto HEB. (HEB is a Texas chain of grocery stores.) They always had those candles near the taco items too! I guess they think Catholic Mexicans only shop in the taco aisle? Ghetto HEB also sold huge tubs of lard. Ew.

LC said...

Seriously. I am mexican and I always am amazed of why the veladoras are displayed in the ethnics food aisle. I mean, I am not saying that they should be in the air fresheners/scented candles aisle because they don't smell (well, they do, but it is not good people) and it would also be kind of creepy.

I don't understand that tradition. My grandma had one lit ALL.THE.TIME. Until the roof caught on fire one night.

The one that really creeps me out is the one that has like a hand and on each finger there is the face of a saint or something.

nabbalicious said...

Yeah, we have those candles at our Kroger in the Mexican food aisle.

Except Darren and I bought some and now they sit next to the TV! They're awesomely tacky.

stefanie said...

OK, so apparently I'm the only one who never noticed the Mexican Catholic paraphernelia in the taco aisle before. But then, I cook actual meals really, really rarely, so I probably don't peruse that aisle too often.

LC--These candles have a name? And a tradition? Color me ignorant. Of course, even Googling that word, I still couldn't find any info to explain them (at least, not on any pages that were in English). And I still don't understand why they sell them in the grocery store. If I were looking for religious supplies, I guess I don't know where exactly I'd look, but I probably wouldn't think to look for them where I buy my taco stuff.

Nabb--Did you buy them when you bought the supplies for Chris's Delicious Dip? Because that's what I made last night (which sent me to the taco aisle). I made only a half batch, and I still put barely a dent in it, despite how tasty it was. And then I remembered that the full recipe was designed to feed a family of nine. That could explain it, I guess.

LC said...

Oh my gosh, yes! Veladoras is like taking a part of the church or something home with you. Or something like that.

They are supposedly to be lit when you are praying or paying a manda which supposedly is when you ask the saints for something and then it happens so you have to lit some veladoras to them or some people take it to the next level and they do crazy stuff like promising they will walk kilometers on their knees if something happens (my grandma made mother do this after she got in an accident and lived to tell it).

Man. This should be my post for tomorrow. So long.

nabbalicious said...

No, we actually got them on Labor Day (when we also made her dip and found ourselves in the Mexican aisle).

Isn't it ridiculous? We made half, it was the only thing we ate Tuesday night, and we still only got through half of that. Then Darren ate more last night and we're STILL not done.

stefanie said...

LC--See, I was raised in a Catholic family, but not in a Mexican one, so I guess that's why this is all news to me. Yes, you should totally make a post out of that. You're doing the Na-blo-blah-blah thing, right? So you might as well jump on any topic idea that springs to mind? Please be sure to explain why these are routinely sold in grocery stores, too, if you can. ;-)

Nabb--Ah. You know, I was wondering if you guys actually tackled the whole pan. Even if you're good eaters (as I am, of course, as well), that's still a helluva lot of food. If I make that stuff again when it's just me (i.e., no friends helping me eat it), I may have to quarter the recipe instead. I'd say eighth it, but that might be too much math.

stefanie said...

Also, I think it's funny that everyone is talking about the Jesus candles, but no one other than me is alarmed by the freakish patriotic Pop-Tarts. Seriously, those things were scary.