Friday, July 11, 2008

Stuff and whatnot

State of the Stefanie address: it is humid, I am tired, and my head hurts. It is humid because it's July in Minnesota; my head hurts possibly because this morning I had caffeine for the first time in several weeks (that is just a theory; it could be entirely unrelated, and I haven't even consciously given up the small amounts of caffeine I generally drink, so I don't know why that theory would even occur to me); and I am tired because I stayed up too late last night engrossed in that ridiculous vampire book.

You've heard about the crazy vampire books, right? The whole Internet is abuzz about them. It doesn't matter that we are grown women who have presumably little business reading something sold in the Young Adult section. I was not in the target demographic for Dawson's Creek, either, but that didn't stop me from getting fully wrapped up in the drama of Joey and Dawson and the "will they or won't they?" suspense. There's something momentarily appealing about putting my mind back in the mundane day-to-day details of high school life without actually having to revisit those days myself. In this case, however, it's high school drama and teen love plus vampires. Tell me, who wouldn't revel in the ridiculousness of that?

So. Reading about teen vampire love is what I've been up to lately. That and baking and packing for a couple of days at a friend's cabin this weekend. I shall be contributing chocolate chip cookies and seven-layer bars, as per usual, as well as a couple of bottles of wine likely destined to become ghetto sangria. Yum. (Do you know about ghetto sangria? Mix red wine and cranberry juice in more or less equal measure. Add a splash of lime juice if you're feeling extra kicky. Voila. Instant summer refreshment without all the fuss of slicing oranges and lemons and such.)

As if jumping from possible caffeine headaches to vampire love to sangria recipes wasn't disjointed enough, how about I do this post up Funky Carter style and give you a little Friday Randomness? And since I haven't done a Friday Five in a good long while, how about I do so in five-point form? All right then.

  1. Something surprising happened in the checkout line at Target recently. No, I did not run into another former meMarmony date. What happened was the teenaged cashier asked me "Paper or plastic?" and I said, "Actually, I brought my own bag," and instead of looking at me as confused as if I'd just responded, "Hockey puck, rattle snake, monkey monkey underpants,"* she instead said, "Oh! Great! You actually get a 15 5** cent discount for each bag you bring!" What's this? Yay! A store other than the co-ops finally gets it. Thanks, San Francisco. (I can only assume they had something to do with this.) Furthermore, the teenaged cashier saw the reusable mesh produce bags in which I'd stashed two avocados and asked, "Are those reusable vegetable bags?? BRILLIANT!" I'm glad she was as excited about them as I was when I first learned of them. Maybe there's hope for all of us yet. In fact, I am proud to report that I have remembered to bring my own bags shopping so often lately that I am nearly OUT of paper bags in which to sort my recyclables for pickup. Yay me. (Also, note to self: Go ahead and forget your bags once or twice every now and then. You'll actually need a few old paper ones next recycling day.)

    * Bonus points to anyone who remembers where this reference is from. Incidentally, the points cannot be redeemed for anything of value.

    ** Whoops. I meant 5, not 15. I saved a whopping 15 cents total by bringing three bags. Just thought I'd clarify for anyone who was jealous of Minnesota's seemingly inordinately generous bag credit policy.

  2. I am well aware that all things old are new again and that I should just shut up already about the ridiculousness that is the return of leggings and bubble tops, but can I still please draw your attention to the fact that American Apparel apparently decided that Hypercolor needed to see a comeback as well? Really, I don't know why this should surprise me. The meeting where that decision was made likely involved the same people as the one in which they decided to start marketing a skirt that I bought last summer as a dress. I actually like this skirt quite a bit (click the "Cranberry" link for a better view), but even if I were 23 and had the AA cup size that the "White" and "Lime" models are sporting, I can see no reason to make it a multi-purpose garment.

  3. Speaking of things I don't need to purchase, did you know you can grow your one "1-up mushroom" right on your desk? You can also make your living room look like a Mario board. I know what my little sister wants for Christmas this year.

  4. I have been mostly ignoring my Sitemeter account lately, but when I reviewed the weekly report today, I saw that approximately three times as many people as usual visited Stefanie Says on July 7. Are people really that interested in hot electricians? Was I linked on some sort of "Sexy Servicemen" site that I'm unaware of? Since the basic Sitemeter account stores detailed data for only the past 100 visits, this is a mystery to which I'll never have an answer, but it's curious to me anyway.

  5. And finally, a poll, if you will. My next-door work neighbor has been in the habit of abruptly moving or minimizing his Internet Explorer window every time he hears me coming around the corner. Apparently my noisy flip-floppy Born sandals aren't enough of a warning for him, though, because the maneuver is never quick enough that I don't see it. My question is, should I tell him, "Listen, buddy, I really don't care if you're on the Internet at work," or should I let him continue to believe I have any sort of power around here and could actually get him in any sort of trouble for that sort of thing and lecture him on the virtues of work ethic? Because we all know that I would never use my employer's Internet connection for anything but the most important and work-related of purposes. (I'm sure none of the rest of you would either.)

And on that note, I think it's time to fill out my time sheet for the day and shut down and head out of here. Happy weekend, all!


Melliferous Pants said...

Who does American Apparel think they are? Trying to fool us with fancy pants names like Unixex Thermochromatic Sheer Jersey! That is a damn Hypercolor t-shirt! I still don't understand the draw in a t-shirt that emphasizes your temperature. I get sweaty just thinking about it.

I accidentally tried on a tube top in Target, thinking it was a skirt. It made me feel about a MILLION years old.

Heather said...

That's totally a Gilmore Girls reference. Hm. Can't I use my points for cents-off my Target bill?

I think you should choose option c and try to catch a look at what your work neighbor is looking at. Knowing nothing about him, my vote is that he's reading WebMD for common household constipation cures. Or looking for a Russian bride.

steve said...

To assuage your cow-orker's fears, I say you yell out a "BRING OUT YER DEAD!" style announcement customized for him as "HIDE YOUR PORN!" every time you're about to walk by his desk.

bleeding espresso said...

Yeah so that skirt can actually be a dress *or* a shirt as well? Definitely good to pack for traveling I suppose.

I vote for Steve's suggestion regarding the coworker. And then some video please?

flurrious said...

I've never heard of hypercolor shirts, but I don't understand the appeal either. If people want a shirt that changes color with body temperature, can't they just sweat through a regular shirt? The results appear to be similar.

I always try to avoid speaking to coworkers, so my vote is for saying nothing and letting him continue to fear you.

Aaron said...

Maybe your coworker is blogging and doesn't want you stealing ideas. Although more likely, he's probably looking at porn.

I would literally die if I didn't have caffeine for a week. Literally.

Aaron said...

Which, my last statement there might make for a good action movie or something. (Dude needs to constantly have caffeine or he'll die! But he's on the run from the mob! And the police! And he knows kung fu!)

Anonymous said...

The angel on my right shoulder says to leave your paranoid work-neighbor be. The devil on my left shoulder says you should ditch your shoes and try to figure out what he's so wiggy about.

What can I say? I'm a curious girl.

The people at American Apparel are insane. Ghetto rollerskating/70's-gym wear? Lame' hotpants? SHINY LEGGINGS??? All suggestions from them must be taken with a tablespoon of salt.

--Shana in MO

Mair said...

1. That is not a dress. Oy.
2. Why would you water down your wine?! Thumbs down!

Mair said...

Oh, yes, and you can also eat a 1-up mushroom!

L Sass said...

Ooh! I just purchased that teen vampire love book, too! Can't wait to start reading it.

Courtney said...

Oh man, I still can't believe leggings are back. It's just so wrong. But have you seen Lindsay Lohan's leggings line? (Hello, alliteration!) They are so wrong/hilarious/but seriously bad.

Stefanie said...

Pants--I know, right? I was telling a friend of mine about this over the weekend, and she suggested that perhaps they didn't use the thermo-whatever stuff on the armpits. Alas, according to the demonstration on the web site, that's not the case. So it's just as dumb an idea as it ever was.

Heather--You win! You can cash in your points for my undying respect and admiration. :-)

Steve--Um, OK, I'll try that. Oddly, he'd actually probably enjoy it.

Michelle--For traveling, sure. For a dress? No.

Flurrious--You have never heard of hypercolor? Where were you in the early 90s??

Aaron--I think you've got your next Script Frenzy idea.

Shana--The Lame' hotpants are the worst, aren't they?

Mair--Don't knock it until you've tried it! I agree, it seems a shame and a waste of good wine, but that's why you use NOT-so-good wine for this! ;-)

L Sass--Yay. Join the absurdity. (One of us. One of us...)

Courtney--Ugh. They ARE! What was she thinking??

3carnations said...

Your coworker who minimizes his Explorer screen reminds me of the former coworker who was way slow on the draw to minimize his. And I swear, on more than one occasion, I walked in on him with an "adult website" open. We have no filters or monitoring of our internet usage. I would pretend I didn't see it. Sometimes I think I should have told someone, but even though I don't look at porn, I do go to non-work related sites at work, so am I any better? I kept my mouth shut.

Lara said...

Wow, I am late to this party. You know I'm thrilled that you've decided to open your mind to vampire love, and I cracked up at the pictures of that skirt being used as a dress. WTF? Oy. I hope you had a lovely weekend!

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

The internet is all a buzz about a book and I've never heard of it? I'm out of the loop.

Noelle said...

My grocery store only gives 5 cents per bag, and the cashier ALWAYS forgets.

And yes, I sometimes run into the problem of no place to empty the litter box when I have no plastic bags on hand.

lizgwiz said...

The last time I was out looking (unsuccessfully) for new clothes, I saw what I thought was a cute skirt. "But why that weird waistband?" Then it dawned on me--it was a dress. Yeah, WTF?

Speaking of vampire books, are you a Christopher Moore fan? And if not, why the hell not?!

Isabel said...

We only get a 3 cent credit for our bags. You are so lucky to get 15!

And dude, you need to discuss more about whether or not you love Twilight? And also, PLEASE CAN THEY JUST HAVE SEX ALREADY?!

Stefanie said...

3Cs--Oh, admit it. You totally look at porn. (Kidding.) ;-)

Lara--I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that skirt is ridiculous as a dress. WTF, American Apparel indeed.

Dutchess--Don't worry; most of the adults at my friend's cabin this weekend hadn't heard of it either. The two twelve-year-old girls who were there sure had, though!

Noelle--I totally wrote that wrong. I got 15 cents total on that trip. It's actually only 5 cents a bag. Whoops.

Liz--I keep meaning to read him (if for no other reason than the titles crack me up), but I haven't yet. Which one should I read first?

Isabel--I lied. Target gives only 5 cents per bag. Whoops. (I got 15 cents total on that trip and just typed it wrong.) Also, Edward just told Bella that they couldn't possibly have sex because he would probably kill her. (I'm sure you got to that point already yourself.) I figured maybe somewhere down the line they'd change their minds, throw caution to the wind, and try it anyway, but from your comment it sounds like that's not the case. Stupid wholesome kids' books. ;-)

nancypearlwannabe said...

Can I tell you how excited I am that you are also reading the Twilight books? Between Lara and I, we are like Stephenie Meyer's personal PR people.

You know you love vampire romance!

Craig said...

I love the local grocery store here that gives the 5 cent rebate per bag. The other stores get all pissy when you dare to bring a bag, then they politely "allow" you to fill your bag yourself.

On the subject of minimizing IE windows, I have on more than one occasion come back from doing something else and see "Stefanie Says:" on the minimized window and immediately thought that someone was talking to me in google chat. This is kind of silly since (a) G chat is now blocked at work and (b) I don't know anyone named Stefanie.

Also, I can't stop reading. The posts with links to multiple other posts which have links to other posts, you just won't let me escape.

Stefanie said...

Craig--Ha. I promise I am not trying to trap you here. I'm glad somebody finds it worthwhile to click through, though! Thanks. :-)