Oprah! Liz Lemon! Salt water taffy and sweater capes!

First off, a public service message. Are you watching 30 Rock yet? If not, you should be. That is all.

Moving on. Today's date story is a recent one. Like, last night recent. You know what? Not all of my dates are bad dates. Also, not all of my date stories are funny ones. This one was neither bad nor funny. Just so you know.

Last night was date number I-don't-even-know with AW, the man formerly known as "Arty-Looking IT Guy." We had dinner at a Colombian restaurant about a mile from my house (which is also, conveniently, about a mile from his house)--a restaurant I'd not yet been to, which means if I ever do decide to embark on the ridiculous goal of visiting every eatery on what is arguably Minneapolis's most (or at least second-most) international street, I will be able to check that one off the list right away. The food was fine but unremarkable. AW ordered a weird South American soda that tasted like a melted banana Popsicle. There were more TVs in the place than customers, and every one of them was showing Mexican soap operas on Univision at a volume level entirely higher than necessary. It all made for an amusing dining experience, but given my mere five hours of sleep the night before, I can't say I was on my "A" game. ("On my 'A' game? Is that the right way to say that?? Why do I even bother with the sports metaphors?)

Following dinner, we went to the same local bar where we had our first date, many weeks ago. It's a bar I've had many a first date at, so I made a mental note that Wednesday is Bar Trivia night (hence, for any future Wednesday night first dates, another of my "regular" spots is a better choice). I'd never actually played bar trivia before. This just in: I suck at it. A whole category pertaining to bass players? There was exactly ONE question in that list of ten that I was annoyed I didn't know. (I couldn't remember that Flea was the bass player with a cameo as a German Nihilist in The Big Lebowski.) For the rest, I knew I didn't have a prayer and hence, did not even guess. I did, however, correctly identify a song I'd never heard before as a Queen song, and I somehow remembered that Dan Patch was a race horse and not just an avenue in St. Paul, so there is that, anyway.

In all, we had a fine time... easy conversation, amusing banter... I genuinely like and have fun with this guy. And then he drove me back to my house, and I remembered I would have to kiss him again.*

People, I don't know what is wrong with me. AW is a smart, good-looking guy who is fully employed, owns his own home, and treats me well. He is, seemingly thus far, the perfect balance between the fun, carefree guys who unfortunately aren't fully grown-ups and the well-balanced men with their shit together who unfortunately bore me to tears. Fun AND responsible! Smart AND interesting! Why oh WHY am I not into him?? I do not know, but I have just not been feeling it, and I finally told him so tonight.

How did it go? Not all that well, understandably. I become a babbling, stammering idiot when faced with starting an awkward conversation, but I was determined to be a decent person and actually do this live in real time instead of taking the cop-out route of carefully composing my thoughts and explaining it in an email instead. He knew something was up, so I think he was glad I called, and I do feel immeasurably better right now than I have all day thinking about it, so despite those several minutes of awkwardness, I think it was the right decision. I do want to continue to hang out with him, but I'm not sure whether we both have the same idea of what "hanging out" means. We shall see.

So it's back to the starting line again for me, with only two short months left of what that damn psychic said would be the year I find my soul mate. Could it be she was a crackpot? IMPOSSIBLE, obviously. Year of Stef? So much for that. Time will tell.


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* Note: "Have to" sounds entirely too harsh and unfair. I meant not to imply that kissing him was some odious, awful chore. Not by any means. I meant only that the romantic chemistry... well, I was not so much feeling it. Surely you understand. You've been there?
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